Management Rules (Have Fun!!)

Rule 1. - The Boss is always right. *
Rule 2. - If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.

* Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, promotions & 6.30 bus.

* Ph.D. stands for "Pull Him Down". The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.

* If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

* When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

* It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you are going to do.

* Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

* The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

* If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

* When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

* Following the rules will not get the job done.

* If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

* Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous".

* No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

* You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work you are supposed to be doing.

* In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.

* In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.

* The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.