Tough Management Lessons

MANAGEMENT LESSONS

Lesson Number One

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A
small rabbit
saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you
and do nothing all
day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the
rabbit sat on the
ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a
fox appeared,
jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing,
you must be
sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be
able to get to
the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I
haven't got the energy.
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"
replied the
bull."They're packed with nutrients." The turkey
pecked at a lump of dung
and found that it actually gave him enough strength to
reach the first
branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some
more dung, he reached
the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he
was proudly perched
at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted
by a farmer, who
shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the
top, but it won't
keep you there.

Lesson Number Three

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to
be Boss. The
brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the
whole body's responses
and functions." The feet said, " We should be Boss as
we carry the brain
about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands
said, "We should be
the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the
money." And so it
went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes
until finally the
asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of
the asshole being the
Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself
up and refused to work.
Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands
clenched, the
feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and
the brain fevered.
Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be
the boss, so
the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the
work while the boss
just sat and passed out the shit!

Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be a
Boss- any asshole
will do.