Harvard Business School Press
“I never could figure out why people didn”t seem to follow my advice much.
When I started to learn about the true art of coaching, it became
painfully clear that my brilliance was failing on deaf ears because I
hadn”t done a bit of inquiry to learn what they were thinking, what
they”d already tried, what their biggest priority was. Inquiry has made
all the difference. It turns out most people want less advice but more
opportunity to explore their own thinking with a caring coach who is
paying attention.” – PattyMcManus, consultant, Interaction Associates
When you want to find out more about the other person”s motivations and
feelings, think of open-ended questions. Though this type of
questioning you can uncover your coache”s true concerns. This, in turn,
will help you formulate better advice and ideas about how you can help
her.
Effective coaches offer their ideas and advice in such a way that the person
receiving it can hear them, respond to them, and consider their value.
It is important to advocate for your opinions in a clear and balanced
way.
Your collaboration with the coachee will be most successful if you use both
inquiry and advocacy in your communications. Over-reliance on inquiry
can result in the participants” withholding important information and
positions. Conversely, if you emphasize advocacy too heavily, you
create a controlling atmosphere that can undermine the coaching
partnership
You also need to be open to feedback on how effective you are as a coach.
Coaches who are able to request and process feedback about themselves
learn more about the effectiveness of their management styles and
create greater trust among members of their groups. To improve you
ability to receive feedback:
Ask for specific information. For example, “What did I say that made you
think I wasn”t interested in your proposal?” or “How were my
suggestions helpful to you?”
When you ask for clarification, do so in a way that doesn”t put the other
person on the defensive. Instead of saying, “What do you mean I seemed
hostile to your idea?” say, “Could you give me an example?”
Encourage the other person to avoid emotion-laden terms. For example,
Good managers use coaching skills as part of their repertoire. The focus is
on cooperation and facilitation of the other person”s development.
Coaching involves crating a comfortable environment where action plans
can be developed together.
on cooperation and facilitation of the other person”s development.
Coaching involves crating a comfortable environment where action plans
can be developed together.
To become the most effective coach possible, work on mastering the following skills:
� Listening actively
�Asking the right questions
� Advocating your opinions
� Giving feedback as a coach
� Receiving feedback as a coach
� Building agreement
�Asking the right questions
� Advocating your opinions
� Giving feedback as a coach
� Receiving feedback as a coach
� Building agreement
“I never could figure out why people didn”t seem to follow my advice much.
When I started to learn about the true art of coaching, it became
painfully clear that my brilliance was failing on deaf ears because I
hadn”t done a bit of inquiry to learn what they were thinking, what
they”d already tried, what their biggest priority was. Inquiry has made
all the difference. It turns out most people want less advice but more
opportunity to explore their own thinking with a caring coach who is
paying attention.” – PattyMcManus, consultant, Interaction Associates
Tip: Those who coach regularly, coach better. Find opportunities to develop your coaching skills
Listen activel
As a coach you need to be tuned into the other person”s feelings and
motivations. You do this through active listening. Active listening
encourages communication and puts other people at ease. Active
listening also clarifies what”s been said to avoid misunderstanding. As
an active listener, give the coachee your full attention by following
guidelines:
motivations. You do this through active listening. Active listening
encourages communication and puts other people at ease. Active
listening also clarifies what”s been said to avoid misunderstanding. As
an active listener, give the coachee your full attention by following
guidelines:
� Maintain eye contact with the coachee.
� Smile to put the other person at ease.
� Avoid anything that will distract your attention. For example, don”t answer the telephone. Only take notes if necessary.
� Be sensitive to body language such as posture and arm position. Is the person tense or relaxed?
� Listen first and evaluate later.
� Do not interrupt the other person except to ask questions to clarify and to encourage him to continue.
� Repeat in your own words what you think the other person has said.
� Wait until after he has finished talking to plan your responses.
� Smile to put the other person at ease.
� Avoid anything that will distract your attention. For example, don”t answer the telephone. Only take notes if necessary.
� Be sensitive to body language such as posture and arm position. Is the person tense or relaxed?
� Listen first and evaluate later.
� Do not interrupt the other person except to ask questions to clarify and to encourage him to continue.
� Repeat in your own words what you think the other person has said.
� Wait until after he has finished talking to plan your responses.
What Would you Do? No Sign of Change
As Paula Sat through Tony”s presentation, bored as a rock, the sad truth
slowly dawned on her. He was making the same mistakes now that he had
been making six months ago! His nose was buried in his notes. He was
droning on and on, and he had not incorporated a single visual into the
entire presentation! Yet they had spoken about his need to work on this
very skill.
slowly dawned on her. He was making the same mistakes now that he had
been making six months ago! His nose was buried in his notes. He was
droning on and on, and he had not incorporated a single visual into the
entire presentation! Yet they had spoken about his need to work on this
very skill.
Tony had told her that public speaking was something he just couldn”t
do. Paula had assured him that with hard work and practice he could do
it. He believed her and he kept trying. So why, then, was he still so
bad at it? Was there something more she could do to help him improve?
do. Paula had assured him that with hard work and practice he could do
it. He believed her and he kept trying. So why, then, was he still so
bad at it? Was there something more she could do to help him improve?
Tip: Coach your direct reports; don”t play psychologist. It”s not appropriate and you are probably not qualified.
Ask questions
Asking questions is a valuable tool for understanding the other person and
determining his or her perspective. Use both open-ended and close-ended
questions. Each yields a different response.
determining his or her perspective. Use both open-ended and close-ended
questions. Each yields a different response.
Notice how this manager asks open-ended questions to uncover the employee”s perspectives, listens actively to what is said, and then checks forunderstanding.
Ilka: Gonzalo, how do you feel the project is going?
Gonzalo: Pretty well. We”re on schedule.
Ilka nods her head.
Gonzalo: But it”s tight. There”s no room to spare.
llka: Because�?
Gonzalo: Because when Jenna left, no one was hired to replace her.
Ilka: And because you”ve lost one person�?
Gonzalo: It”s going to be really hard to meet the deadline.
Ilka: Are you saying that you”ll deliver on time, but it will be difficult? Or that you may not be able to meet the deadline?
Gonzalo: Well, I think we can make the deadline, but there is a chance we might miss it.
Ilka: And if we want to be sure to finish on time�?
Gonzalo: We”d need more help.
Ilka: Perhaps we could look into getting some temporary help.
Tip: Ask a lot of open questions
Most managers ask too few.
Ask open-ended questions. Open-ended questions invite participation and idea sharing. Use them to:
� Explore alternatives: “What would happen if�”
� Uncover attitudes or needs: “How do you feel about our progress to date?”
� Establish priorities and allow elaboration: “What do you think the major issues are with this project
� Uncover attitudes or needs: “How do you feel about our progress to date?”
� Establish priorities and allow elaboration: “What do you think the major issues are with this project
When you want to find out more about the other person”s motivations and
feelings, think of open-ended questions. Though this type of
questioning you can uncover your coache”s true concerns. This, in turn,
will help you formulate better advice and ideas about how you can help
her.
Use close-ended questions carefully. Close-ended questions lead to “yes” or “no” answers. Use them to:
� Focus the response: “Is the project on schedule?”
� Confirm what the other person has said: “So, the critical issue is cost?”
� Confirm what the other person has said: “So, the critical issue is cost?”
Advocate for your opinion
Effective coaches offer their ideas and advice in such a way that the person
receiving it can hear them, respond to them, and consider their value.
It is important to advocate for your opinions in a clear and balanced
way.
� Describe the individual”s situation as you see it.
� State your opinion about the situation.
� State your opinion about the situation.
� Make the thoughts behind your opinion explicit, and share your
experiences.
� Encourage the other person to provide her perspective.
experiences.
� Encourage the other person to provide her perspective.
Your collaboration with the coachee will be most successful if you use both
inquiry and advocacy in your communications. Over-reliance on inquiry
can result in the participants” withholding important information and
positions. Conversely, if you emphasize advocacy too heavily, you
create a controlling atmosphere that can undermine the coaching
partnership
Give feedback as a coach
Feed bacdiffers from advocacy in that you are responding to a specific behavioror action rather than presenting and arguing your position on the
overall problem or need for change. Giving and receiving feedback is a
critical part of managing in general, but it is an especially important
part of coaching. This give-and-take goes on throughout the coaching
process as you identify issues to work on, develop action plans
together, and assess the follow-through.
critical part of managing in general, but it is an especially important
part of coaching. This give-and-take goes on throughout the coaching
process as you identify issues to work on, develop action plans
together, and assess the follow-through.
When giving feedback — whether positive or negative — try to do the following:
Focus on behavior — not character, attitudes, or personality:
Describe the other person”s behavior and its effect on projects and/or
coworkers. Avoid judgmental language, which only makes people
defensive. For example, instead of saying, “You”re rude and
domineering,” say, “I observed that you interrupted Fred several times
during each of our last three meetings.”
Describe the other person”s behavior and its effect on projects and/or
coworkers. Avoid judgmental language, which only makes people
defensive. For example, instead of saying, “You”re rude and
domineering,” say, “I observed that you interrupted Fred several times
during each of our last three meetings.”
Be specific:
Avoid generalizations. Instead of saying, “You did a really good job,”
you could say, “The transparencies you used for your presentation were
effective in getting the message across.”
Avoid generalizations. Instead of saying, “You did a really good job,”
you could say, “The transparencies you used for your presentation were
effective in getting the message across.”
Be sincere: Give feedback with the clear intent of helping the person improve.
Be realistic: Focus on factors that the other person can control.
Give feedback early and often in the coaching process: Frequent feedback that is delivered soon after the fact is more effective than infrequent feedback.
“Good coaches have coaches of their own. I can remember one time when Ireceived timely and exquisite coaching. My boss gave me feedback about
a self-defeating communication habit I”d gotten into. Because she was
compassionate, caring, and clear as a bell in her description, I was
able to see exactly what she was talking about and explore why I was
caught in this pattern. I was then able to shift my style and get the
kind of results I intended.”
compassionate, caring, and clear as a bell in her description, I was
able to see exactly what she was talking about and explore why I was
caught in this pattern. I was then able to shift my style and get the
kind of results I intended.”
– Patty McManus, consultant
Receive feedback as a coach
You also need to be open to feedback on how effective you are as a coach.
Coaches who are able to request and process feedback about themselves
learn more about the effectiveness of their management styles and
create greater trust among members of their groups. To improve you
ability to receive feedback:
Ask for specific information. For example, “What did I say that made you
think I wasn”t interested in your proposal?” or “How were my
suggestions helpful to you?”
When you ask for clarification, do so in a way that doesn”t put the other
person on the defensive. Instead of saying, “What do you mean I seemed
hostile to your idea?” say, “Could you give me an example?”
Be willing to receive both negative and positive feedback.
Encourage the other person to avoid emotion-laden terms. For example,
“You said that I am often inflexible. Give me an example of things I do that give
you the sense that I am not flexible.”
you the sense that I am not flexible.”
Don”t be defensive. Only justify your actions if asked. Tell the other person
when you”ve gotten all the feedback you can effectively process.
Thank the person for being willing to share feedback with you, both positive
and negative. This will improve trust and model productive behavior to
the person you are coaching.
and negative. This will improve trust and model productive behavior to
the person you are coaching.
Building agreement
Agreements are the foundation of coaching. You build agreements in the beginning as you commit to working together, and throughout your relationship as you pursue the coaching objectives. The agreement process includes all the above activities from initially recognizing the need for coaching
to observing to listening actively to one another and collaboratively
coming to agreement about the issues and resolutions.
to observing to listening actively to one another and collaboratively
coming to agreement about the issues and resolutions.
There has to be agreement between the coach and the coachee for the coaching process to work. However, agreement can range from skeptical acceptance to wholehearted involvement. When your coachee sees progress being made on changing behavior or building skills, then agreement will become easier to achieve.
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