Saturday, May 8, 2010

Happy Mother’s Day..!!!


Mothers’ Day Quotes

Gifts from God Day and everyone celebrates this festival on Second Sunday of May Month every
year. Everyone dedicates this day for their mothers. Here are some quotes, messages and sms to express your love and affection for your mother.

If the whole world were put into one scale, And my mother in the other,The whole world would kick the beam.~Lord Langdale (Henry Bickersteth)

Thank you mom for everything that you have done and keeping doing for me. Thank you God for having you as part of my life, you have taught me many good things, today what I have become it’s because of you.

Your loving nature and your delicate words,
will always flow through me like a gentle
flower. Make sure this day is your day,
and rule with pure enjoyment and pure love!


I am so grateful and blessed for having
special mother like you. I appreciate you a lot. Take
care always and God bless. Wish you a
good health and pleasant Happy Mother’s Day!!!

When u feel u r alone in a crowd,
when u think no one can understand u,
when u think ur love is rejected by others,
and when u hate ur life just close ur eyes
and think about her who loves u truly,
cares for u in ur loneliness,
dies when u cry,
she is no one else but ur MOM...

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.

Happy Mother’s Day..!!!




Friday, May 7, 2010

Simple Computer Dependency Test

This just proves that we have become way too dependent on our computers.
Q: How Many Legs You Have?To find out the answer, look down...
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Look down, not scroll down!

Some Important Laws


LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start tomove faster than the one you are in now.**********

LAW OF TELEPHONE : When you dial a wrong number, you never get anengaged one.**********

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR : After your hands become coated with grease,your nose will begin to itch.**********

LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the leastaccessible corner.**********

LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work becauseyou had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.**********

BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.**********

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increaseswhen you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.**********

LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won'twork, it will!**********

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS : The severity of the itch is inversely proportionalto the reach.**********

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aislearrive last.**********

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, yourboss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold

Killing English ……



Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigerette... ? "
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Class teacher once said :" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
once hindi teacher said...."i'm going out of the world to america.."

DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK

dont..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down

it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)

************ ********* ********* ********* ****
teacher in a furious mood...write down ur name and father of ur name!!
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
My manager started like this"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"
************ ********* ********* ************ *
LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...."My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code.."I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??
************ ********* ********* ********* *****
Seing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class.."Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"

How to ask your Boss for a salary increase...?



One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary!!!

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,
$.$.$.


The next day, the employee recieved this letter of reply :


Dear Employee,


I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOw a days, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet ..

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if theUnited States may go into aNOther recession.
After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad . I have NOthing more to add NOw.

You kNOw what I mean .
Your Boss

A Newborn's Conversation With God

A baby asked God, 'They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?' God said, 'Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you.'The child further inquired, 'But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy.' God said, 'Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy.'Again the child asked, 'And how am I going to be able to understand when peopletalk to me if I don't know the language?' God said, 'Your angel will tell you the mostbeautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.''And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?' God said, 'Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.''Who will protect me?' God said, 'Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.''But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.' God said, 'Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you.'At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, 'God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name.'God said, 'You will simply call her, 'Mom.'Lift a mother's spirit, send this to every mother you know

__________________________________________________
"Never Explain yourself to any one, Because the person who likes you doesn't need it and the person who dislikes you wont believe it"

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

అంతరంగ ఆవిష్కరణ : జగ్గి వాసుదేవ్



మతం
అనాది నుంచి మనిషి తోటివాడితో సంఘర్షిస్తూనే ఉన్నాడు. ఈ ప్రపంచంలో వనరులు కొద్దిగా ఉండటమే అందుకు కారణం. వాటిని ఎలా ఉపయోగించుకోవాలో తెలియక తొలినుంచి సంఘర్షణ పథంలో నడిచాడు. కొత్త ఆర్థికనియమాలూ చట్టాలూ చక్కటి పంపిణీ విధానాలూ సరైన అవకాశాలు కల్పించడం వంటి చర్యలతో ఆ సంఘర్షణ తొలగిపోతుంది. కానీ మానవాళి ఎదుర్కొంటున్న మరో పెనుసమస్య మతమౌఢ్యం అంత తేలిగ్గా లొంగేది కాదు. మనమేదైనా ఆస్తి కోసం తగాదా పడితే కొంతకాలానికైనా మన తప్పు మనకు తెలిసే అవకాశం ఉంది. అదే దేవుని పేరిట యుద్ధం వెుదలైతే దానికి ఇక అంతెక్కడుంటుంది? అది అనంతంగా కొనసాగే వైషమ్యం. కొంతమంది తమను తాము దేవుని సైనికులం అనుకుంటారు. అలాంటివారు ఆ తరహా భావాలను వదులుకుంటే మార్పు సాధ్యమవుతుంది.
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ధ్యానం
ధ్యానం అంటే సాకార రూపమైన దైవాన్ని తల్చుకోవడం కాదు. మనలో నిగూఢంగా ఉండే అనంతమైన శక్తిని ప్రేరేపించుకోవడం. బుద్ధినీ మనసునూ ఏకం చేసుకోవడం. మనలోని మానవీయ గుణాల్ని మరింతగా పెంచుకోవడం. అందుకోసం మంత్రతంత్రాలను ఆశ్రయించాల్సిన అవసరం ఎంతమాత్రం లేదు. నిశ్శబ్దంగా కూర్చుని కూడా సాధించవచ్చు. మనశ్శాంతినీ మనోవికాసాన్నీ పొందడమే ధ్యానం పరమార్థం.
------------------------
యోగా
సాంకేతికంగా ఎంతో అభివృద్ధి సాధించిన నేటికాలానికి యోగా అవసరమా' అనే ప్రశ్న వేస్తుంటారు కొందరు. దానికి నా సమాధానం ఇదీ... భౌతిక సుఖజీవనానికి శాస్త్రసాంకేతిక పరిశోధనలున్నట్లే మానసిక సుఖజీవనానికి యోగా ఉంది. దాన్ని సరైన పద్ధతుల్లో సంపూర్ణంగా అందించగలిగితే దేహానికెంతో మేలుచేస్తుంది. మన జీవితం ఎలా ఉండాలి, ఎలాంటి అనుభూతులు కలగాలి అనేది మనమే నిర్ణయించుకోగలగాలి. ఆ శక్తిని యోగా మనకు అందిస్తుంది. అలాంటప్పుడు 'యోగా అవసరమా?' అన్న ప్రశ్నే అసంబద్ధమౌతుంది.
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మానవసేవ
సమాజం అంటే వేర్వేరు వ్యక్తులు కాదు. ఒకే మహాపదార్థంలో అణువులు. కాబట్టి మానవసేవ చేయడమంటే తనకు తాను మేలు చేసుకోవడమే. ప్రతివ్యక్తీ తోటివారి మేలు కోరితే సామూహిక వ్యవస్థ వల్ల అంతిమంగా తానూ లాభం పొందుతాడు. వేర్వేరు దారాలు సరిగ్గా పెనవేసుకుంటేనే కదా వస్త్రం అందంగా రూపొందేది. ఈ సమాజమనే వస్త్రంలో పోగుల్లాంటివారు వ్యక్తులు. ఆ వస్త్రంలో ఏదారం తెగినా దాని అందం దెబ్బతింటుంది. అందుకే ప్రతివ్యక్తీ తనకు సాధ్యమైనంతవరకూ తోటివారికి సేవ చేయాలి. వెుత్తంగా సమాజం బాగును కాంక్షించాలి.

THE HR PROCESSES



One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman

"Sorry, we have rules..."

And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening owns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.

She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and told. Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you are an employee.
- - - - - - - - - -
(an email forward)

________________

Few mental exercises for the young


Why are young people quick to feel anger?


Generally, we find a youngster who is disturbed is also angry. He is angry with life. He has the passion to achieve, but lacks direction. He is frustrated at others' success. He wonders what is missing in him. In such a state, he finds his energy drained. In his angry state, he is not able to enjoy life.

Oscar Wilde said: "Oh youth, what a pity it is wasted on the young." When one is youthful one has the energy but less maturity; and when one is old one has the maturity and experience, but lack youthful energy. To be able to have both youthful energy and maturity, is a challenge faced by the young people of today.

To make this happen one needs a healthy attitude.Attitude creates altitude.

What should be one's attitude?

Apply the ABC technique:

A is for attitude, open and explorative;
B is for having a belief which is powerful and not limiting and
C is to bring in caring energy in whatever we do.


There are two aspects to youth, the physical and the psychological. Physically, a person can be young, but psychologically, if he is not open with a positive belief and without a caring energy, he is old. This distinction is a must for one's growth.

What should be the vision of the youth?
The vision of the youth should be to be an outer winner and an inner winner. Being an outer winner gives you success and being an inner winner gives you satisfaction. To bring in success and satisfaction in your life is the greatest challenge. To get what you like is being an outer winner. One should have the freedom to choose what he likes.

The desire to reach a goal is your freedom. Achieving this goal is being an outer winner. You should know howto maximise performance, you should know how to be a team player, you should have negotiating skills and you should know how to delegate and be a leader. You should be a leader and a follower. You should walk your talk and talk your walk.

Talk to yourself and say that you will be an outer and inner winner.

Talk to yourself and say that you are always going to be young, mentally.

Actions are an expression of one's thoughts and thoughts are an expression of one's belief system. To change one's actions, it is necessary to change one's thoughts and to change one's thoughts, one mustchange one's belief. The source of one's actions is belief. If you have a limiting belief, then your life will be limiting; if you have a powerful belief, then your life will be powerful.

All successful people achieved success because they consistently held a positive belief, which is not a mere thought but something more than a thought.

How else can one change one's belief system?
Belief is nothing but a sense of certainty. It can be a negative certainty or a positive certainty; either way it is a sense of certainty. If it is a negative belief, create a doubt in that certainty and then you will find you have destroyed the sense of negative certainty.

If a person says that he cannot be successful since he is not a graduate, then he believes that only graduates can be successful. Create a doubt by giving an example that Bill Gates is not a graduate but is still successful. In this way, you break his certainty by creating a doubt.

Every great achievement initially appeared impossible.

Whenever a negative belief comes, kick it off like you kick a ball towards the goal. When you get a negative belief, see it like a ball and push it off to the goal. Your goal should be being both successful and satisfied. Keep this thought always and do not allow the opponents to shake you.

(The Times Of India,8 Feb 2009, SATSANG: SWAMI SUKHABODHANANDA)

Monday, May 3, 2010

16 THINGS THAT TOOK SOMEONE 40 YEARS TO LEARN:


1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that very moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

FINAL THOUGHT FOR THE DAY : There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections but absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Husband Shopping center


Husband Shopping center

A "
Husband Shopping Center" was opened where a woman could go to choose from among many men to be her husband. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors.

The only rule was that once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place.

So, a couple of girlfriends go to the place to find men.

First floor, the door had a sign saying: "
These men have jobs and love kids."

The women read the sign and say: "
Well that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?"

So up they go. Second floor says: "
These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking."

"
Hmmm," say the girls, "But, I wonder what's further up?"

Third floor: "
These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework."

"
Wow!" say the women."Very tempting, BUT, there's more further up!"

And so again, they go up. Fourth floor: "
These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak."

"
Oh, mercy me. But just think?! What must be awaiting us further on?!"

So up to the fifth floor they go.

The sign on that door said: "
This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping and have a nice day!"

Unconditional Love :An Essence of Love


Unconditional Love : An Essence of Love

A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home after having fought in Vietnam. He called his parents from San Francisco.
"
Mom and Dad, I'm coming home," the Son said, "but I've a favor to ask. I have a friend I'd like to bring home with me."

"
Sure," they replied, "we'd love to meet him."

"
There's something you should know" the son continued, "he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mind and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us."

"
I'm sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live."

"
No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us."

"
Son," said the father, "you don't know what you're asking. Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we can't let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should just come home and forget about this guy. He'll find a way to live on his own."

At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, however, they received a call from the San Francisco police. Their son had died after falling from a building, they were told. The police believed it was suicide. The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn't know, their son had only one arm and one leg.

The parents in this story are like many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good-looking or fun to have around, but we don't like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay away from people who aren't as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are. Thankfully, there's someone who won't treat us that way. Someone who loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us into the forever family, regardless of how messed up we are.

Writing A Thesis


One fine, sunny day, a rabbit sat outside his burrow, typing on his laptop. Along came a fox, out for a walk.

Fox: "What are you working on, Rabbit?"

Rabbit: "My thesis."

Fox: "Hmm. What's it about?"

Rabbit: "About how rabbits eat foxes."

Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes."

Rabbit: "Sure they do. And I can prove it! Come into my burrow."

They disappeared inside and after a few minutes, the rabbit emerged alone, returned to his laptop, and resumed typing. Soon, a wolf came along.

Wolf: "What are you working on, Rabbit?"

Rabbit: "My thesis."

Wolf: "Hmm. What's it about?"

Rabbit: "About how rabbits eat wolves."

Wolf: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat wolves."

Rabbit: "Sure they do. And I can prove it! Come into my burrow."

They disappeared inside and after a few minutes, the rabbit emerged alone, returned to his laptop, and resumed typing. Meanwhile, inside the rabbit's burrow there was a pile of fox bones and a pile of wolf bones and a lion picking his teeth.

The Moral?

It doesn't matter what you choose for a thesis subject. It doesn't matter what you use for data. What matters is who you have for a thesis advisor!