DO WE PERFORM OUR DUTY TO OUR PARENT?

The parents nowadays are quite worried about the behavioral changes in their children due to several socio-economical reasons. The gap between parents and the younger generations, is increasing day by day due to which the family bonding is getting weaker and weaker. They have forgotten the countless efforts and sacrifices made by their parents throughout their lives.

                                        DO WE PERFORM OUR DUTY TO OUR PARENT?

Since  birth we ate the  food provided by them -  many lakhs of times!!! Our  household expenses,  maintenance, educational needs,  daily coaching etc., was attended by them free of cost.  All our requirements  under the sky, from childhood till we started earning our own income, was provided by them at their cost, despite their financial conditions and ability,  until we became  independent  to enjoy and survive in this world. The services of our parents cannot be listed as it will run to volumes.  All that we can do in return is  our moral and spiritual responsibility to take care of them now when they are helpless

1. Give them enough money understanding their requirements without their indicating  same.
2. Share time with them to laugh and smile.
3. Be polite and don't try to control their actions, but politely give your views slowly and softly.
4. While walking keep pace with them as due to age, they may be slow and  stay behind them. Give them respect.
5. Look after  their needs,  just  asking   “shall I bring water, some biscuits, a fruit  etc.,? Should i bring tea for you? Are you hungry, baba” etc
6. Observe their health condition closely and take  them for periodical check ups. Sensitive parents will not ask you to do this and that.
7. Check whether they take their medicines timely and remind, don't talk about the cost of the medicine and value!!
8. Take them out where they would like to go, and organize it to their satisfaction.
9. Go from time to time to public places, parks, restaurants of their choice etc.,
10. Respect their preferences and  likes. Dont force your views and preferences.]
11. They don't demand respect, they deserve it
12. When  elders arrive or depart, open the door with respect.
13. Go shopping and watch they select and don't comment on their choices.. Your choices certainly will differ with theirs and you cannot thrust it on theirs.
14. celebrate their birthdays and wedding days with some surprise gifts observing their needs and preferences.
15. Daily wish them before you go out and return home visiting them in their rooms.
16. Explain your children the importance of the grand parents and cultivate the habit so that you will be respected when they become grown up!!!
17. When you come back to home, visit them first in their room.
18. Dont criticise their friends and their manners, dresses etc., and talk ill of them.  They have not come to see you,or care for your views,  which please remember. 
19. In any matter of discussions where the views of yours and the parents  differ try to follow their views as much as possible finding a compromising solution without hurting  feelings. Remember their sacrifices and time,  and you owe them immeasurably which they never asked for. Going their way with your supporting ideas would be ideal patiently and politely.
20. Disposal of old parents to old age homes, and separate care homes is a crime unpardonable.   Remember their hardship and difficulties in bringing you up and putting up with your tantrums and obstinacy  mindfully. Dont be ignorant..
21. At the dinner table, first serve food to them and then to others

A word to parents also  –  Please for heaven’s sake don't mention how much troubles and sufferings you had in bringing up your children in front of them or talk about the money you spent on their studies and maintenance etc.  This is not settlement of account matter.  Love begets love which please  remember and don't degrade yourself. You should not demand respect but command it.

FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness is the highest spiritual practice.
It begins when you recall those
who hurt you and
Feel the power to wish them well.

A story from Zen Buddhism

There was a robber who amassed a lot of ill-gotten wealth. One day, he went to a teacher who had great reputation of great character and asked, “How can I obtain happiness? I have lots of wealth and five hundred thieves ready to obey me but somehow I still feel incomplete and empty.”

The teacher led him to the base of a hill, and pointing to three large stones, asked the robber to carry them and follow him up the hill. The robber could hardly move and said, “I cannot follow you with this heavy burden.’ So the teacher asked the robber to drop one stone. After going a little distance, the robber found it impossible to go up the hill with two heavy stones. The teacher asked him to drop one more and the same thing happened with the third one and the robber was able to easily follow the teacher to the top of the hill. The teacher said, “Deviating from the path of righteousness does cause a heavy conscience. Just as you could not climb the hill with the burden of heavy stones, you cannot achieve happiness if you go through life carrying a heavy conscience.”

How true. Whenever we go against our values, our conscience gets burdened. Stress level goes up. Insecurity comes in. ignoring conscience long enough kills it eventually making it like dead weight like the rocks in the story. Life becomes a burden.

Wonderful story….must read !!!

A woman baked chapatti (roti) for members of her family and an extra one for a hungry passerby. She kept the extra chapatti on the window sill, for whosoever would take it away. Every day, a hunchback came and took away the chapatti. Instead of expressing gratitude, he muttered the following words as he went his way: “The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!” This went on, day after day. Every day, the hunchback came, picked up the chapatti and uttered the words: “The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!” The woman felt irritated. “Not a word of gratitude,” she said to herself…

“Everyday this hunchback utters this jingle! What does he mean?” One day, exasperated, she decided to do away with him. “I shall get rid of this hunchback,” she said. And what did she do? She added poison to the chapatti she prepared for him! As she was about to keep it on the window sill, her hands trembled. “What is this I am doing?” she said. Immediately, she threw the chapatti into the fire, prepared another one and kept it on the window sill. As usual, the hunchback came, picked up the chapatti and muttered the words: “The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!” The hunchback proceeded on his way, blissfully unaware of the war raging in the mind of the woman.

Every day, as the woman placed the chapatti on the window sill, she offered a prayer for her son who had gone to a distant place to seek his fortune. For many months, she had no news of him.. She prayed for his safe return. That evening, there was a knock on the door. As she opened it, she was surprised to find her son standing in the doorway. He had grown thin and lean. His garments were tattered and torn. He was hungry, starved and weak. As he saw his mother, he said, “Mom, it’s a miracle I’m here. While I was but a mile away, I was so famished that I collapsed. I would have died, but just then an old hunchback passed by. I begged of him for a morsel of food, and he was kind enough to give me a whole chapatti. As he gave it to me, he said, “This is what I eat everyday: today, I shall give it to you, for your need is greater than mine!” ” As the mother heard those words, her face turned pale.

She leaned against the door for support. She remembered the poisoned chapatti that she had made that morning. Had she not burnt it in the fire, it would have been eaten by her own son, and he would have lost his life! It was then that she realized the significance of the words:

“The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!”

Do good and Don’t ever stop doing good, even if it is not appreciated at that time

Worth reading A Simple Upedesh..!

A Simple Upedesh..! A Young Man Called Rama Swami Died An Untimely Death. His Parents, Wife And Nine Year Old Son Were Crying Bitterly Sitting Next To His Dead Body. They All Happened To Be Disciples Of A Holy Man Whom They Called ‘Maharaj Ji’. When Maharaj Ji Learnt That Rama Swami Had Died, He Came To Visit The Family. He Entered The House And Found The Family Wailing Inconsolably. Seeing Maharaj Ji, The Wife Started Crying Even Louder. She Sobbed Saying, “Maharaj Ji, He Has Died Too Early, He Was So Young… Oh! I Would Do Anything To Make Him Alive Again. What Will Happen To Our Son? I’m so Helpless and Miserable.” Maharaj Ji Tried To Pacify The Crying Lady And The Old Parents, But The Loss Was Too Much For Them To Come To Terms With So Easily. Eventually, Maharaj Ji Said, “Alright, Get Me A Glass Of Water.” Maharaj Ji Sat Near The Dead Body And Put The Glass Next To It. He Said, “Now, Who Ever Wants That Rama Swami Should Become Alive Again May Drink This Water. Rama Swami Shall Come Back To Life, But The Person Who Drinks The Water Shall Die Instead!” Silence..! “Come, Did You Not Say That Rama Swami Was The Sole Bread Winner Of The Family? Who Would die Instead Of Him? It Is A Case Of Fair Exchange, Isn’t It?” The Wife Looked At The Old Mother And The Old Mother Looked At The Wife. The Old Father Looked At Rama Swami’s Son. But No One Came Forward… Then Maharaj Ji Said To The Old Father, “Babuji, Wouldn’t You Give Your Life For Your Son?” The Old Man Said, “Well, I Have My Responsibility Towards My Wife. If I Die Who Will Look After Her? I Cannot Offer My Life To You.” Maharaj Ji Looked Questioningly At The Old Woman And Said, “Amma?” Amma Said, “My Daughter Is Due To Deliver Her First Baby. She Will Be Coming To Stay For A Month. If I Die Who Will Look After Her And The Newborn. Why Don’t You Ask Rama Swami’s Wife? Maharaj Ji Smiled And Looked At The Young Widow. She Widened Her Tear Filled Eyes And Said, “Maharaj Ji, I Need To Live For My Son…If I Die, Who Will Look After Him? He Needs Me. Please Don’t Ask Me To Do This Sacrifice. Maharaj Ji Asked The son, “Well Little Boy, Would You Like To Give Your Life For Your Father?” Before The Boy Could Say Anything, His Mother Pulled Him To Her Breast And Said,..Maharaj Ji, Are You insane?.. My Son Is Only Nine. He Has Not Yet Lived His Life. How Could You Even Think Or Suggest Such A Thing?” Maharaj Ji Said, “Well It Seems, That All Of You Are Very Much Needed For The Things You Need To Do In This World… It Seems Rama Swami Was The Only One That Could Be Spared… That Is Why God Chose To Take Him Away. So Shall We Now Proceed With His Last Rites? It’s Getting Late. Having Said That, Maharaj Ji Got Up And Left. God’s Plan Is Impeccable. Sometimes Man Is Unable To Understand God’s Design. The Time Of Entry And Exit For Each One Of Us, Is In God’s Hands. It Is His Prerogative Alone To Pluck The Flower He Wishes To. It Is Nobody’s Prerogative To Question His Will. In The Words Of Dada, “We Tend A Plant Only When The leaves Are Green; When They Become Dry And The Plant Becomes A Life-Less Stick, We Stop Loving It. Love Lasts As Long As Life Exists The Rest Is Only Memories Of Happy Times..!

THE SMART GAME OF LIFE..!

 

There Once Lived A Great Mathematician In A Village Outside Ujjain . He Was Often Called By The Local King To Advice On Matters Related To The Economy. His Reputation Had Spread As Far As Taxila In The North And Kanchi In The South. So It Hurt Him When The Village Headman Told Him, “You May Be A Great Mathematician Who Advises The King On Economic Matters But Your Son Does Not Know The Value Of Gold Or Silver.”  The Mathematician Called His Son And Asked, “What Is More Valuable - Gold Or silver?” “Gold,” Said The Son. “ That Is Correct. Why Is It Then That The Village Headman Makes Fun Of You, Claims You Do Not Know The Value Of Gold Or Silver?   He Teases Me Every Day. He Mocks Me Before Other Village Elders. As A Father This Hurts Me. I Feel Everyone In The Village Is Laughing Behind My Back Because You Do Not Know What Is More Valuable, Gold Or Silver. Explain This To Me, Son.”  So The Son Of The Mathematician Told His Father The Reason Why The Village Headman Carried This Impression. “Every Day On My Way To School, The Village Headman Calls Me. There, In Front Of All Village Elders, He Holds Out A Silver Coin In One Hand And A Gold Coin In Other. He Asks Me To Pick Up The More Valuable Coin. I Pick The Silver Coin. He Laughs, The Elders Jeer, Everyone Makes Fun Of Me. This Happens Every Day On My Way To School. That Is Why They Tell You I Do Not Know The Value Of Gold Or Silver.”  The Father Was Confused. His Son Knew The Value Of Gold And Silver, And Yet When Asked To Choose Between A Gold Coin And Silver Coin, He Always Picked The Silver Coin. “Why Don’t You Pick Up The Gold Coin?” He Asked.   In Response, The Son Took The Father To His Room And Showed Him A Box. In The Box Were At Least A Hundred Silver Coins.   Turning To His Father, The Mathematician’ s Son Said, “The Day I Pick Up The Gold Coin The Game Will Stop. They Will Stop Having Fun And I Will Stop Making Money.”  The Bottom Line Is… Sometimes In Life, We Have To Play The Fool Because Our Seniors And Our Peers, And Sometimes Even Our Juniors Like It. That Does Not Mean We Lose In The Game Of Life. It Just Means Allowing Others To Win In One Arena Of The Game, While We Win In The Other Arena Of The Game. We Have To Choose Which Arena Matters To Us And Which Arenas Do Not.

Keep Smiling

Horse And a Goat

There was a farmer who had a horse and a goat….. 
One day, the horse became ill and he called the veterinarian, 
who said: 
- Well, your horse has a virus. 
He must take this medicine for three days. 

I’ll come back on the 3rd day and if he’s not better, we’re going to have to put him down. 
Nearby, the goat listened closely to their conversation. 
The next day, they gave him the medicine and left. 
The goat approached the horse and said: 
- Be strong, my friend. 
Get up or else they’re going to put you to sleep! 
On the second day, they gave him the medicine and left. 
The goat came back and said: 
- Come on buddy, get up or else you’re going to die! 
Come on, I’ll help you get up. 
Let’s go! One, two, three… 
On the third day, they came to give him the medicine 
and the vet said: 
- Unfortunately, we’re going to have to put him down tomorrow. 
Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses. 
After they left, the goat approached the horse and said:
- Listen pal, it’s now or never! 
Get up, come on! Have courage! 
Come on! Get up! Get up! 
That’s it, slowly! Great! 
Come on, one, two, three… Good, good. 
Now faster, come on…… Fantastic! Run, run more! 
Yes! Yay! Yes! You did it, you’re a champion!!! 
All of a sudden, the owner came back, saw the horse running in the 
field and began shouting: 
- It’s a miracle! My horse is cured. 
We must have a grand party. 
Let’s kill the goat!!!! 
The Lesson: this often happens in the workplace. 
Nobody truly knows which employee actually deserves the merit of success, 
or who’s actually contributing the necessary support to make things happen. 

Remember……… 

LEARNING TO LIVE WITHOUT RECOGNITION IS A SKILL!!!!
If anyone ever tells you that your work is unprofessional, remember:
Amateurs built the Ark and professionals built the Titanic